THIS BLOG SOLVES WORLD HUNGER
(Scientists say)
Here's 7 Classics.
Based on a true story......... In other words, there once was a guy called Brian Smith, everything else is 100 per cent, pure pedigree bull s***. Or maybe a woman once walked in and a book jumped off the shelf, that's clearly a poltergeist that is now rampaging round New York on a killing spree in a new horror movie.
Scientists say....... As in one scientist once said owning a cat is linked to being a brilliant footballer. Vaping is worse than smoking, vaping is better than smoking, maybe it has no effect, and back to its worse for you. Just putting it out there, scientists say reading my blog leads to a 7 figure salary.
Low in fat.......... High in loopholes. Which fats, how much sugar, how much carbohydrate? I use this as the perfect excuse for my next dominoes.......
90 per cent of..........90 per cent of people love my blog.......out of the 10 friends I ask. Well there now 9 friends and one twat. If you give a s*** about statistics on an advert, if you’re as depressingly sad as I am, think sample size and who was asked. Lies, Damned lies and statistics.
Buy one get one free......What if I don't want two? This extends to all offers, how much is it for one, that's more what I want to know. If you hear the phrase, "it's cheaper to get two", get those alarm bells ringing!
Up to....... Up to 50 per cent off. As in anything from 0 to 50. As in half the per cents possible. I still love how the "up to" is in Times New Roman font size 8, and the 50 per cent off is Arial in Bold, font size 50.
The use of 99p...... I am fed up and tired of the mass of penny coins clogging up my wallet. £14.99 is 15 pounds, I do not want the penny, I do not want to have to wander to a coin counter to get an extra quid for Christmas shopping.
I wrote this with two diet cokes on 2 for 2 pounds, a bag of sweets for 99p, in clothes which were up to 20 per cent off.
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