1) The search for optimum temperature. Face it, we've all mentioned the promised land of 18 degrees Celsius, dry, windless day, to bask in the delightful feeling of not being too hot or cold. Despite the seeming knowledge I discuss of these conditions, I am yet to reach the promised land sadly.
2) Clueless weathermen. Sometimes I think I'd have better luck asking a dog, as I enjoy the beautiful heat wave I've seen promised running for shelter in my winter coat. Forecasts not only change hour to hour, but channel to channel,to website,to colleague to man who scarily starts talking to you at a bus stop.
3) Humidity. Particularly on leather sofas. British sun is not like every other country sun. Even when it's not raining and the sun shines, the air is saturated with good old H20.
4) The Inevitable thunder storm. There's something, maybe an angry God, that does not allow Britain to have good weather without making us pay. The "High pressure" moves in, and the gales blow, and the rain lashes down, for daring to have a barbeque to "make the most" of the nice weather.
5) "Making the most of the nice weather". Everyone's used it, everyone's heard it. The sun pokes it's head out, rare as a Mewtwo on Pokémon Go, and normal everyday activities I like to do are suddenly frowned upon and unsociable. Face it, if you don't do it in normal weather, it's not something you enjoy to do! Don't do that barbeque, watch back to back Netflix series!!
6) Sunburn. Need I say more? I once only got light burns in a holiday on Spain, I can take the puny British sun with no sun lotion.......Mad dogs and Englishman. Look at my lovely radioactive style glow.
7) Weather comparisons. It's hotter than Mexico today apparently........result, one out of three hundred and sixty five. This is a particular annoyance of mine, I am in Britain, I don't give a hoot if Mexico's having one off day.
8) Comparisons to years gone by. You think this is hot, it's nothing compared to the summer of 1984. Yes, I'm sure you remember the weather that summer to the exact degree!!
9) Day off blues. Blazing sunshine and beautiful weather, seen with your nose pressed against the glass of your workplace. I suppose it's nice for your walk to go to collect your lunch. Finally, your day off comes around...........I'm sure you can fill in the rest!
10) The second week of Wimbledon. It's remarkable really. Every year, I hear to book a British holiday then, the rain launches down, games are cancelled, Wimbldon's struggling to fit the games in, then Monday crops round. Hey Ho, out the sun comes!
You know what, where are those holiday brochures......
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